Moving on

Lol. This is sometimes a hard thing to do because it’s easier to hold on to the familiar and reject the unfamiliar. As the case may be, I’m trying not to have a hard time moving on from a current situation I’m facing. I’m trying to be mature, civil and godly about it and not let it mar my other relationships.
Truth is I hurt a lot, geez! I’ve shed ugly tears today and because I’m one of the ones that try to guage decisions and beat myself up, it’s kinder harder to swallow.
It’s easier to ask the questions I would usually have asked –  “why me”? Lol. Question should be “why not me”? It may have been worse off, I take all the hurt and pain now because I accept that God is building me up to grow through pain. I’ve made some pretty intense decisions in my life and I never thought I would be here again – walking through another form of pain. I’ve made promises that I will never feel this way again; I guess promises are made to be broken. So I will enjoy the tears and one more broken pot (afterall, it’s not possible to pour water in a basket).

All I know is I don’t want to be a hurting person because hurt people hurt people; not because they want to but they don’t know any better and I don’t want to unconsciously turn out to be that kind of person. I want to love, and love and love more. Still I build a barricade because I want it to be worth it the next time I give myself to someone.
Moving on – hmmmm…