SHUT THE DOOR BEHIND YOU

So I walked out again like I’ve grown accustomed to doing. Usually, I would put this down in my journal but this is as much a journal for me as any other.
This time the silence was deafening; I cried all the way home not because of what I lost but because I always found myself walking into these mishaps more times than I can remember. If what I don’t have is not as valuable as what I do have then there’s no point is there.
Guys, why is sex before marriage such a big deal to you? Please tell me. Is it the test driving or what? Why can’t you wait? Seriously, if your intentions were noble you wouldn’t have problems waiting would you? But you would use every scheme and tactic possible to get a lady in your bed.
Can’t there just be one guy out there, one good one not nice oh. Good! That would like me and there won’t be issues. He has a girlfriend or he’s about to wed or its tribal or religious or just doesn’t like me that way.
I am tired of crying, of inconsistency, and everything. Is that it? So I can’t be blessed with a guy that won’t want to chook his preek (pardon my french). O ti su mi o. You know what now adds insult to injury, it’s not like they will now marry you after the sex. They will start with their usual odesious excuse.
“It’s not you, it’s me”, “you’re too good for me”, “I need to work on myself”, “you know guys are wired differently” and so on and so forth.
Sigh! I wish I were the type to take names to Baba fix it. You for hear am. I’m pained Oh. Yes I am pained. Term this diary of a mad Black Nigerian girl or what you will. And they wonder why it’s hard to woo a girl. Hian! I wish for you what you wish me.
I take my case to God in prayer after watering my couch with my tears of course. I’m pretty when I wail. I’ll send an autographed picture soon. I’m done lamenting o.

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3 Comments

  1. Am I mean because this made me chuckle? I don’t know. I think you dream a lot, which in itself is not a bad thing, but will hurt you time and again if you let it. If you go into friendships and other relationships with no expectations you’re much less likely to get bitten. I think.

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  2. LOL I have an idea of how you feel. The worst is when you start talking to them and they assure you that sex is not important to them, or they just don’t listen, then act surprised when you remind them of your conviction to not have sex. I think letting go is the best thing to do. Hopefully, one day, someone will actually say they wanna wait and mean it. Selah.

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