This is one of those nights I connect with the secular world; not because I’m backsliding but I sometimes resonate with the secular. God uses the foolish things of the world to confound the wise you know, like listening to the lyrics of a song that one thinks make you doomed.
Currently I have Lupe Fiasco’s battle scars on repeat because it always reminds me of the inner war I fight within myself. I am extremely sacrificial sometimes – most of the people that know me deeply know this. No matter the affinity I feel for something or someone; I let it go for someone who I think may need it more.
Right now I write from that part of me I keep hidden because I hope it will somehow open doors that I closed. I’ve been confused a lot and lonely and more importantly bored. I can’t think of any activity that interests me and to be candid I gel foolish most times, and I act it.
The one constant is, was and will always be God and I wish for deep intimate conversations with Him sometimes on a face to face level but I make do with the times He speaks. I may struggle with adequacy but I know it’s alright because it’s in God. I’m going on hiatus soon, don’t know how long it’ll take but I’m looking forward to the change.


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