Nothing

I want to write but I don’t know what to write

I feel judged, condemned, oppressed but that which my Bible says is “there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.”

It is not that I lack for people to love me, I just lack for ways to appreciate the love I feel

It is a process and I know I am a WORK IN PROGRESS

I do not enjoy hobbies, or other mundane stuffs as others do

I wish to travel the world but the want or need soon dies in me

I do not understand the intricacies that plague my life

I feel loneliness as acutely as one would feel ice piercing through ones skin

I am an enemy of myself yet I intensely love myself

A kill has been made on my emotions and a bounty placed on my joy

I do not expose my heart to my mind’s thought but they somehow find a way to meet in secret and connive to hurt my spirit

“So that I may not cause pain” the line that daily resonates with me from the Prayer of Jabez but daily I teleport out of my will to hurt the very ones who wholeheartedly love me

It is time to feel, I need clarity

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6 Comments

  1. I read this. The path of growth is often difficult. (Like growing new teeth in a child) But persist in it and take note of how you feel for record purposes. That’s one of the reasons I’m happy you wrote this

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