So I went round the social media streets asking my friends what they thought of the ever controversial issue of love. The question I asked out of curiosity is – Is Love really a choice?
I’m going to be sharing most of the responses I got with you;
♡ Fifi: Yes it is, I can choose to love for what ever reason – Money, beauty, fame etc
♡ Amy mush pet: Hmm., I would say no but then people have different emotions. I think some people are more in control so they’re better at masking what they feel. So it seems like they don’t give a shit but they do, because some people don’t like to be vulnerable.
♡ O kissy: I don’t know, Is it? I don’t think it is, cuz some pple make standards and stuff of who they want but in d end,u really can’t help who you love.
♡ Mik Mik: Not in all cases, some people meet people and fall for them, while others decide to love based on the fact that someone loves them and choose to love the person back only for it to become a natural thing in the end. You can love someone and when they act up, you choose to stay with them regardless.
♡ Teddy bear: Yup, The emotion called love is something we can’t dictate. Falling in love n stuff like that. But loving, staying in love, acting in love; all decisions. U can love someone n not be with d person because they are bad news. U can love someone and choose to be with the person despite their bad side. U can love ur husband and choose to stay married even though u haven’t felt d spark in years because u know its there
♡ HLblue: Yes love is a choice and a feeling.
♡ Seunfunmi: It’s a choice but sometimes u meet someone so amazing they make that choice easy. U won’t always feel like loving someone though; No one is perfect. At the initial stage it’s all feelings. But it’s not the love that sustains the promise to be with someone forever; It’s the promise that sustains the love.
♡ HBO: Yes from the biblical angle: love ur neighbour as urself goes to let us know that we shd choose to love others.. if there was no need 4 us 2 choose, if it was just gonna be a thing that just comes, then it won’t have been a big deal 2 mention it.. Dats love in general terms. – Now that’s from one point.. Intimate love as well is a choice.. u should love who you want to tie ur heart to.. if u choose right, u’ll be happy or otherwise, u’ll be sad.. dats what I think..
Those are varied opinions on the question. I think it is more of a mandate than a choice; following both the biblical path and how the society presents. Choices are limiting, and should be linked to emotions. Love to me has gone beyond an emotion. Most times, you have to go beyond what you think to that resolve; I love you – if I had to choose to love, trust me, I’ll automatically unlove a lot of people right now. As a mandate however, you realise that you can’t escape it. To love, one has to be patient, kind, not jealous, not rude, not boastful, hopeful, forgiving at all times – when it is being equated as a choice that means I can love the person but not forgive because in that respect, it has become something I have chosen and I may or may not decide to make any other effort that comes with it. I can choose to go with the good and leave the hard part of loving.
In some cases, making hard decisions for someone is also loving them – watching someone go through the pain of rehab or refusing to give something that you consider harmful to another irrespective of the other’s feelings or knowing it can lead to the person hating you for life. Yes, love isn’t a choice to me, it’s a mandate, knowledge that you abide by irrespective of circumstances. Even at the intimate level – in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live – through cerebral ish and liver that, through skin defects and constant haemorrhage, through body odour and embarrassing circumstances. Is it really a choice? If it is, I think one may choose to walk out too right?
Disregarding your freewill to go with the mandate however, is why it seems to be a choice. Paul said if I speak with the tongues of angels and have not love, I am just a loud clanging cymbal that makes noise all over; and what do you do with a noisy instrument?